Commentary

Are people in our lives by chance or design?

February 11, 2026   ·   0 Comments

MARK PAVILONS

“People are guests in our story, the same way we are guests in theirs. But we all meet each other for a reason because every person is a personal lesson waiting to be told.”
― Lauren Klarfeld

I’ve often wondered about just how and why certain people end up in our lives, or become a few paragraphs in our personal storybook.
Sure, our work and social circles bring us into contact with literally hundreds of souls. But we don’t click with each and every one. We aren’t drawn, like electricity, to everyone’s heart and soul.
And yet, we find them, or they find us.
I’ve stopped believing in chance and the randomness of things. During my soul-searching, I’ve come to think that we are walking miracles, souls with energy, or like Jerry Lee Lewis described, “great balls of fire.”
Simone Sinek once said that life isn’t beautiful because of the things we do or see, but “because of the people we meet.”
In my line of work – a journalist for more than 30 years – I’ve encountered thousands of interesting people. Statistics indicate we average humans will meet 10,000 people over the course of our lives. I’ve always believed there’s a lesson to be learned in meeting new people, and absorbing their energy and listening to their tales.
I’ve tried to be genuinely interested in them, not so they can return the favour, but simply because I believe we should extend courtesy to everyone we meet.
I’ve been so blessed that many of these have “stuck,” and become much more than “work acquaintances.” They are my friends. Were they destined to become part of my orbit?
Maybe not Friday night euchre game kind of friends, or Sunday brunch chums, but kind souls you can count on, turn to, rely on, or even ask for favours.
It’s funny when people enter our lives – some quiet and unannounced, others with a bang. We never know if that certain someone will become a trusted friend or life-long pal.
They say opposites attract, and so do magnetic forces and static electricity. Most of the people in my circle are quite different – entrepreneurs, designers, creators, artists, volunteers – just decent folks. Sure, by day, some are politicians, law enforcement officials and front line responders. But share a coffee and they are people – spouses, parents, good samaritans and much, much more.
Behind the facades, people are so complex and deep, that they task you to explore and uncover their riches. Why? To become part of the human story.
We don’t sit in the corner of a dark and dusty century home parlour and write our own book of life. We can’t live in isolation or merely by glancing out the streaked windows.
We join in, kiss a fish, maybe dance the jig or shout one, two, three “g’suffa!” You don’t need lederhosen to join in the fun. And yes, I’ve jumped off a dock in by birthday suit, just because.
That’s the freshness of the orchard of humanity.
Many of us believe that almost every person we meet has a purpose in our lives, directly or indirectly. This makes “chance” encounters so important and precious. If this is the case, shouldn’t we all be more polite, more compassionate, and open when meeting strangers? I always tell cashiers to have a nice rest of the day, regardless of the situation. Maybe I’m the only one who offers this salutation that day, and can bring a smile to a stranger’s face.
Sanju Pradeepa Danthanarayana says people we meet along the way, no matter how briefly, “have shaped your journey in ways you may never fully comprehend. There are no coincidences. Each person who crosses your path does for a reason. Some are there to teach you, others to challenge you, and a few to lift you when you need it most.”
I’ve researched the odds of each of us being here today, and the near impossibility of life evolving on Earth. The probability of the right sperm and egg creating “you” is one in 400 quadrillion. You can’t dismiss this unfathomable way we’ve beaten the odds. These calculations have turned many scientists and mathematicians from atheists into believers.
I liken it to a massive bowl filled with gumballs or jellybeans. Each of us and our friends are in there, somewhere. What are the odds that the ones you select from the jar at random become life-long comrades? What of the others that are “brushed” aside by your fingers?
The odds of two of these “beans” becoming peas in a pod are close to impossible. And yet we challenge and beat those odds every single day.
Coincidence? I think not!
Some studies have estimated that we encounter more than 300 people per day – making eye contact with people at the mall, arena, at work, on the bus, in restaurants, in the check-out line, etc. I have started conservations with people in all of these instances. Of course, few will be ingrained into our brains, but perhaps one or two will.
When I was young, bumping into people was commonplace. We ventured out almost daily.
With the advent and chaos caused by our devices – smart phones and tablets – we’ve shut out many of those who could become important chapters in our ongoing history.
Leave them in your pocket when you’re out and about. Look around and smile, and see the reaction.
Some people say meeting people is the meaning of life, for everyone you encounter knows something you don’t.
My advice? Be a traveller; listen to stories; meet new people, and dream.
Oh, and keep reaching into that giant jar of jellybeans!

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