Share your memories like a home-cooked meal!

September 9, 2026 · 0 Comments

MARK PAVILONS

During my pensive moments, as I contemplated my mortality, I have been hand-held by some fond memories.
I was reminded about the best memories of a person’s life, like the birth of a child, a wedding, family vacations and teaching our kids to ride a bike.
While I recall faint details when each of our children entered the world, a lot of it is a blur. Of course, my wife remembers each one, down to the last intricate detail, like it was yesterday.
Moms. God did go overboard in giving them some amazing qualities!
My hearing is fading and my memory of certain things isn’t as sharp as it once was. I can still rhyme off trivia and historic information like a Jeopardy champion.
I know that grief and loss can wreak havoc on someone’s mental health. A friend lost his wife to cancer roughly a year ago, and he isn’t the same. It shows on his face and the tone of his voice. He’s a shadow of his former self.
And what about those who are about to lose someone or who face an impending doom?
Many people are plagued with life-altering or debilitating illnesses. Every day is a challenge and a chore. They struggle to see the sunlight through the clouds. They are in reluctant survival mode.
My cancer journey has robbed me of my best memories. Sure, I still recall certain pleasant moments, but the flavour, the zing, has been softened, lessened to a degree.
That’s because cancer is a thief, a cold-hearted killer that steals, absorbs and destroys memories.
That’s the reality of the disease. It doesn’t just invade cells, tissues and bones, but it takes over our minds, our memories our emotions. And there’s the key.
People always ask me how I’m feeling and comment that I look good, considering my condition. Haven’t we been told that looks are deceiving?
Life isn’t something we necessarily joke about when we reflect on it. Even during this very challenging journey, I can still crack a joke, and recall so many fond moments. I’m not only my own personal library by the gatekeeper of my family’s history.
I recall a few incidents in my teens when I mouthed off to my dad and he ran after me but couldn’t catch me. When we stopped, he smirked, knowing that had he caught me I’d have gotten a smack upside the head. The message was clear. I don’t know why that makes me smile today, but it does.
Memories serve to strengthen us, as we grab onto them with a smile. The best moments of our lives are like food, fuel in our tanks.
Fortunately, we live in a data-driven world and our smart phones hold much more than emails and texts. They hold magic, in the form of photos and videos – the best of the best.
When feeling down, we pull out our phones, scroll through our libraries and replay those special moments. Recordings of my kids’ laughter makes me chuckle. Photos of the dogs bring smiles to this old kisser. Candles being blown out remind me of the passage of time, and how our offspring bloom. I recently doused a few candles on my birthday cake.
According to Muhammad Tuhin (Why We Remember Some Moments Forever), memories are not static but dynamic. They’re not stored like books; they’re reassembled like stories.
Each time you remember something, you don’t pull it off a shelf, you recreate it. Your brain reconstructs the memory by stitching together fragments of sights, sounds, emotions, sensations. Memory is an act of imagination built on fact.
That means remembering is a remix. It’s creative, interpretive, and deeply influenced by who you are now.
Neuroscientists have found that emotionally charged experiences trigger the amygdala, a small almond-shaped structure deep in the brain. The amygdala acts like a spotlight operator, shining attention on critical details. It helps activate the hippocampus, which is crucial for encoding memory. Together, they signal the brain to sear the event into long-term storage.
In a physical sense, we are made up of skin, flesh, blood and bones. In a more poetic and psychological sense, we are made up of memories. Memories are powerful and they are influential in how we are shaped as individuals. For example, memories from our childhood can still affect our psyche and behavior as adults.
Parents tend to be the custodians of family legacies. Their memories become our first memories; the two intertwined to become our histories and identities.
Parents also tell us the stories of their parents and ancestors to help us understand where we come from and who we are. They remind us of our potential to achieve anything and be anyone. They humanize the past with stories of our ancestors written into world history. Our parents, too, laughed and cried, loved and lost.
We are the sum total of our memories, which are stories of our life. As we travel the many roads that make up the maps of our lives, we continue to make and store memories. We take pictures and videos; we tell and record stories; we write messages and emails and caption images. All this so our children can then read our maps, understand our stories and, in doing so, better understand themselves.
We become the custodians of our children’s legacy.
So, are all of my memories who I am? Of course they are. Who would I be without them?
“Life is all memory,” according to Tennessee Williams and the present goes by so quickly you can hardly catch it.
Memory is also the mother of all wisdom. Use it wisely, and don’t discount its importance.
Like kindness, memories are meant to be shared with others. It’s all part of the same fruit salad – fresh, tasty and colourful.
Don’t keep this marvellous concoction to yourself – serve it up to everyone around you!