After all these years, I still don’t know if I’ve gotten it right. I shed tears instead of burdens. Behind my smiles and smirks are other things, dark things, nagging things. Last week I received some positive news about my health, but surprisingly, I didn’t know what to do with that information. Should I celebrate? Should I be relieved? I almost felt lost, without such a burden hanging over me. Now what do I do?
We human beings are curious, intelligent critters. We shed our furry bodies and tiny tails and achieved great things over the millennia. But what makes us unique and what separates us from the rest of Earth’s flora and fauna?
I’m tired. Not in a sleepy, sloth-in-a-tree kind of way. Not a sunbathing turtle type of sleepy. I’m tired in a life kind of way.
It’s been said you will know when you get there. Get where? Just how do I know where I’m going and what do I do when I get there? Am I there already? We make so many choices in our lives, it’s hard to keep track of them all. We navigate twists, turns and forks in the road. Heck, sometimes we end up in the ditch and roll down an embankment. It may not seem like a journey, but our lives are the longest, most intense adventures we will ever undertake. It’s a wonder we even make it out in one piece.
The well used saying, every journey starts with a single step, is not only true, it’s impactful. It goes much deeper than the imprint of our foot in the dirt. Everything important that we do in life, and even those less exciting things, all start with us.
I was sucked back in my chair by a force of self-examination recently. To sum up the experience, we’re living our lives all wrong. That may be a bold statement, but from personal experience, and observations from 30-plus years in the journalism game, I think most of us still don’t have it figured out.
Emerging from our caves should be a bit of a reawakening for all of us. We’re seeing the bright light of day for the first time in months. Soaking up the sunshine is amazing, and you can see the joy on the faces of those enjoying outdoor patios. Humans are social creatures. Sure, we come complete with a plethora of shortcomings, but we also have some rather nifty qualities, too.
Renowned astrophysicist Carl Sagan is often quoted as saying in order to make an apple pie from scratch, you first have to invent the universe. In other words, in order for us to make anything, the universe had to be created first. To expand on this, think of all the things that came before our kitchen: The Big Bang, neutrons, ions, atoms, moon, sun, ocean tides, dinosaurs, homo erectus, fire, water, soil, seeds, cows, milk, apple trees.
When you read an obituary, it often mentions the person’s birth year and year of their death, separate by a small, seemingly insignificant dash. But this “dash” represents their life and all that it entailed. Not insignificant at all, but rather THE most significant of all.
Is this really my life? Has anyone else out there ever asked themselves this question?
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